It’s winter and the Snake River running behind my house is as grey as the clouds above it. With the passing of another year I’m thinking about the winter of my life, the stage I see coming after middle-age. It's occurred to me that maybe in my dread of old age I’m blind to any of its benefits. The author George Bernard Shaw once said youth was wasted on the young—the young take youth for granted. I wonder if age is wasted on the old.
A friend of mine in her late seventies recently told me, “I don’t like old people anymore."
She said, "Most of my life I had elderly friends I enjoyed and spent time with. But now that I’m old myself, I’d rather hang out with young people.”
I understood some of my friend’s sentiments. I like being around young people too, particularly my grandchildren. It’s wonderful watching their wonderment. They “ooh” and “aah” over something as simple as a junco bird sitting on the snow-covered holly bush outside my kitchen window. I’m also envious of their energy level. I can’t imagine running and jumping the day through. But, growing up isn’t easy either. My grandchildren have plenty of bumps and bruises ahead of them. The truth is, every stage of life contains both challenges and opportunities.
Aging never seemed like a gift to me—the health problems, the grey hair and wrinkles.
I’ve overlooked what a privilege it is to grow old. Not everyone gets the chance to live a long life, and not just in terms of number of years. The later years can still have quality and meaning. There's still rich times of discovery and joy. “Did you read what William Shatner said about going into outer space?” my husband was bent over reading the latest issue of the AARP (Association of Retired Persons) magazine. “This is the second article I’ve read about Shatner’s trip into space.” “Didn’t he go last summer?” I was working on my computer and turned to my husband. “I remember reading some headlines: Captain Kirk of StarTrek makes it to the FINAL FRONTIER!” “Yes, he went up in Jeff Bezo’s Blue Origin space shuttle. He told an interviewer he didn’t expect to feel this way, but he ‘grieved’ being in outer space. It was cold and dark. Lifeless. He missed Mother Earth. It’s pretty remarkable, the guy’s ninety-one.” It is remarkable, but many seniors do wonderful and significant things, both small and large, either for themselves, their families, or the greater good. Just ask Joe Biden, our eighty-year-old president, who's currently leading our big, querulous country.
Of course, not all of us older adults want the kind of responsibilities that Joe Biden or Mitch McConnell or any number of other senior statesmen, shoulder.
This is another unheralded benefit of aging. We’ve earned the right to choose how we want to spend our time. And not only that, we have enough experience to know we have choices. It was a choice for my eighty-nine year old mother to help host the family Christmas party this year. I wondered if she would do it, she’s struggled some recently with health issues. But I’ve discovered elderly people often have good days and bad days, and my mother has an irrepressible sense of fun. Mom mostly sat in a cushioned chair, a red and white patterned throw draped over her legs. She read Christmas trivia questions, occasionally stumping the family gathered around her. The weather forecast for the upcoming month is a bit warmer with less snow. Winter weather this year, like aging, seems full of surprises. As I gaze out my window at the junco birds, I'm trying to keep an open mind about both.